Del Williams


Why Can't I Talk to You?

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It is one of the ironies of life being a great communicator except when it is on a personal level. Do you know anyone like that. They can shoot the breeze, but really ask how they are and you get the classic "fine." Then by the time you find out things were not fine, they say, "I couldn't tell you." What is that about? Where does it come from, and more importantly, how can you get rid of.

Most likely it was a person who was raised to never tell what they feel. Or, they were constantly told they talked too much. Each negative word sending a message that they didn't deserve to be heard. You know like when a parent dies and well meaning person tells them not to cry, to be strong. The message is if you cry then you are weak.

Generally the lack of communication comes to the forefront when it is an intimate issue, not a work related one. But sometimes it can transfer to the work place if a person feels powerless and unheard.

How to Get Rid of It
Practice with people that you trust. You should not be spilling your heart to anybody that just happens upon your path, but people that have proven they can be trusted to keep your heart. Sometimes writing it (journal) can break the ice so that you can communicate what you want. Writing allows you to clarify your thoughts, because sometimes we just don't know what we feel on the spur of the moment about something. Sometimes we have to work through our perceptions and opinions to get to the truth of how we feel about something.

In the end sharing your intimate thoughts comes down to making yourself vulnerable with someone worth taking the risk.

Indifference, to me, is the epitome of evil. Elie Wiesel
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