Del Williams


I am Not Your B*tch


Recently, someone I considered a friend called me a Bitch. Anyone who knows me, knows I detest that word. Her reasoning was that I had cut her off in mid rant. When she called me the name, I told her to take it back, and she refused. Mostly due to an effort of saving face in front of others present.

I proceeded to leave. Back in the old days, I had an explosive temper and I admit to a vindictive nature back then. Fortunately, maturity and wisdom has tempered both. I now know that I just don't have to put up with it. I don't have to sit in the shit, so to speak.

Later in the evening, the ex-friend asked if I was ready to receive her apology. I told her clearly that I have a line that no one crosses. She then proceeded to blame the whole situation on me. In other words, there was not an apology. I have thought of what forgiveness means. I decided to forgive, but just like I wouldn't put my hand in the mouth of a dog that just bit me, I have kept my distance.

Some people may argue that I did not forgive. They could have a point. I feel sorry for a person who feels the only way they feel they can be heard is to diminish others by name calling. I also feel sorry that some think that what they do publically can be remedied privately to save face with those who they were trying to impress.

I take great efforts to control my atmosphere and who is in it, whether it is online or off. Though, I hate the phrase Dr. Phil says, "you teach people how to treat you," so I think if I allow someone to get away with calling me a Bitch or any other name, then I am telling them it is OK, and it's not.

So, while saddened to lose a "friend," I am proud of the fact that I thought I was worth it to not put up with it. Too often in the past I have allowed others to mistreat me and blame it on me, when really, they were just showing who they are. As Maya Angelou says, "When people show you who they are, believe them."

I am not perfect, nowhere near it, but I like to think that I am not someone who needs to show up people by belittling others. I don't feel the need to be heard by devaluing others with name calling. So, if it means one less person in my life, fine.

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Julie Fogg said...

I'm glad you said it. EXCELLENT post.

Boris Beddenoff said...

"I was ready to receive her Apology". You got something coming, but it Damn sure is not and "Apology". Tho you are sorry..........