Del Williams

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Being a Victim or Victorious is A Choice

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As I watch the news or stroll through my Twitter feed, the one thing which astounds me is the victim mentality. This is not disregarding the bad things which happen to people, but it gives me pause when the bad thing becomes the only story. Their whole life becomes the "somebody done me wrong" song.

Studies have been done about siblings, twins, and strangers who have gone through traumatic experiences such as abuse, observation of domestic violence, and alcoholism, and they have found consistently that there are usually one of two outcomes. One, continues in the trauma by becoming an abuser, addict, or whatever the trauma was. While the other goes the complete opposite way.  This suggests that choice is involved. Some say it is the difference between reacting and responding.

I'm not saying we need to ignore what happened in our past, but we have to decide how we view it and use it. We get to decide if we are going to use it to get attention and sympathy, or overcome it and use it to help ourselves and others.

We live in a time where everyone has a platform to share their stories on, but we have to ask ourselves, to what end? Are we telling our stories to heal, get sympathy, or Help others? If we share it just to benefit ourselves then we have not overcome, and are still a victim.

Robert Frost said  we will come to a crossroad in life and by choosing the path least traveled, it can make a difference. Taking the victorious path is the road least traveled by most, because sometimes living as a victim is easier than doing the work to break its hold. Staying in our mess and garnering sympathy from it can be addictive.

The person who is victorious over their past looks at it as something they lived through to tell the story, but don't let their lives be run by it. They don't blame their past, but use it to show they can overcome obstacles. Tony Robbins, the Self-help speaker said in his documentary, that had his abusive mother not been the type of woman she was, he would not have become the type of man he is today. Instead of remaining a victim, he became victorious. We need to do the same.

No person has really finished his education until he has learned to live the life
victorious, that is, until they have learned to face always towards victory, never towards
defeat, until their habitual mental attitude is what Mirabeau’s was when he said: “Why
should we call ourselves men, unless it be to succeed in everything, everywhere? Say of
nothing, ‘This is beneath me’; nor feel that anything is beyond your powers. Nothing is
impossible to the man who can will.” Orison Swett Marden

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